One of my favourite stories is St Francis and the wolf. A wolf is terrorising the town of Gubbio and when St Francis hears of it, he goes there to tame the wolf. When he meets the wolf, he arranges a peace by promising the wolf if he stops, the people of the town will make sure he doesn’t go hungry.
The townsfolk agree and from then on, the wolf roams freely throughout the town, well-fed by the residents. When the wolf finally dies, he is mourned by every person in the town.
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I love this story for a few reasons. The logical way of resolving the problem of the wolf
is to hunt him down and kill him. St Francis’ way is conflict resolution. Both sides have
to want to repair the relationship and both sides have to give something up. The
ending that would have happened if the village hunted down the wolf would have been
cheering his death. The ending we get, though, is sorrow at the wolf’s death.
Conflict resolution is never easy.
We will often put ourselves in the initial role of the villagers; “I’ve done nothing wrong, it is all the
other person’s fault”. Can we open ourselves to the possibility both of us need to change?
Maybe this relationship can be salvaged?
We can’t make the other person come to the table, but I never want to be the one who is the
obstacle to reconciliation. I don’t have to give up everything. I don’t have to let the other person
walk all over me, but I do want to be sitting at the table with an open mind and a listening ear.
De Colores,
Fr Mark Cooper